The Boss Baby




 * Survival of the fittest.
 * It's the law of the jungle.
 * There's always someone trying
 * to take what's yours.
 * How do I know?
 * It almost happened to me.
 * Tim Templeton...
 * quit monkeying around.
 * Hot dogs are getting cold.
 * Hot dogs?
 * At least, this is how I remember it.
 * All right, buddy, let's eat.
 * You see, I was seven years old...
 * and back then,
 * you relied on your imagination.
 * When I wasn't exploring the Congo...
 * I was a deep sea diver.
 * Tim!
 * Our hero!
 * Don't worry, Mom and Dad.
 * I got this!
 * Grab on!
 * Some days, I rescued my parents.
 * That way!
 * Other days, they rescued me.
 * - I'm losing control.
 * - Tim, look out!
 * Tree!
 * You're breaking up!
 * Slow down, Tim!
 * - Turn, Tim.
 * - Turn!
 * - Are you hurt?
 * - I'm okay.
 * Show Mommy your teeth.
 * It was just the three of us.
 * The Templetons.
 * And three is the perfect number.
 * Interesting fact...
 * did you know that the triangle
 * is the strongest shape found in nature?
 * I was the luckiest kid ever.
 * My parents even had cool jobs.
 * They worked for the biggest pet company
 * in the world...
 * Puppy Co.
 * - Yes, Mr. Francis?
 * - Puppy Co needs you.
 * It's go time.
 * They worked in a department
 * called "Marketing..."
 * where they got to launch new products.
 * Even though my parents worked really hard...
 * they still made just enough time for me.
 * Three stories, five hugs,
 * and my special song, right?
 * You got it!
 * Blackbird singing in the dead of night
 * Take these broken wings and learn to fly
 * All your life
 * You were only waiting
 * For this moment to arise
 * Hey, Tim. How would you like
 * to have a baby brother?
 * No, thanks. I'm enough.
 * Life was good. Life was perfect.
 * But as I drifted off to sleep...
 * something my parents said got me thinking.
 * Where do babies come from?
 * The day I got a little brother
 * started like any other day...
 * but little did I know...
 * my life would never be the same.
 * Wake up, little halflings! It's 7:00 a.m.
 * Wake up, little halflings!
 * Morning, Wizzie!
 * What great adventure
 * lies in wait for you today?
 * Oh, yeah!
 * My parents always said
 * that I had an overactive imagination.
 * But I clearly remember...
 * the baby was delivered in a taxi.
 * What the...
 * Hey!
 * Tim, look who's here.
 * Meet your new baby brother.
 * Baby what?
 * Brother.
 * I had a million questions.
 * Who is this guy? Why is he here?
 * What's with that outfit?
 * Why's he so fat? Why's he staring at me?
 * Does he know karate? What's going on?
 * That way?
 * - Okay.
 * - Okay.
 * Right from the start,
 * he was yelling at people...
 * ordering everyone around.
 * Oh, you want this?
 * One thing was clear. He was the boss.
 * He set up his office, right
 * smack dab in the middle of the house.
 * He conducted meetings.
 * - You called?
 * - Do you need Seor Squeaky?
 * Lots and lots of meetings.
 * Even in the middle of the night.
 * I'm up! I'm up!
 * - We're coming!
 * - We'll be right there!
 * If things weren't done
 * to his immediate satisfaction...
 * he had a fit.
 * - Where's the bottle?
 * - He has to have his bottle!
 * He had everyone wrapped around
 * his chubby little finger.
 * Everyone except for me.
 * - Diaper!
 * - Bottle!
 * Dad! I can't sleep.
 * I know, bud. Me neither.
 * The baby needs a lot of attention right now.
 * Okay, good talk!
 * - But...
 * - It's okay.
 * Daddy's here. Daddy's here.
 * What about me?
 * The year: 2057.
 * Ensign T-Rex and I are investigating
 * a hostile alien invasion.
 * It's so much worse than we thought.
 * Mom, he's naked!
 * I'm naked!
 * Say "naked."
 * No!
 * Who's Mommy's little cutie?
 * Are you Mommy's little cutie?
 * No, he's Daddy's little tough guy, right?
 * You know one of us has to go
 * with Mr. Francis to the pet convention.
 * In Vegas.
 * - You know what? You should go.
 * - No, no. You should go.
 * Well, you need a break.
 * - I'll stay with the baby, and you...
 * - Maybe the baby should decide.
 * Who do you want to stay with you?
 * Daddy or Mommy?
 * Or Daddy?
 * He wants his mommy.
 * Okay, we need to talk!
 * In private.
 * - Sure.
 * - About what, bud?
 * About the b-a-b-e-e.
 * "Y," Tim.
 * Why? Because he came out of nowhere!
 * We don't even know him.
 * How can we trust him?
 * Come on, he's just a baby.
 * Seriously? I'm the only one that thinks
 * there's something weird about this guy?
 * - Oopsie! I got it.
 * - Five-second rule.
 * Tim?
 * Look at him! He wears a suit!
 * I know. Isn't it cute?
 * He's like a little man.
 * He carries a briefcase.
 * Does no else think that's...
 * I don't know, a little freaky?
 * Well, you carried Lam-Lam around
 * until you were like...
 * This is not about Lam-Lam.
 * All babies are different, Tim.
 * And each one is special.
 * He's taking over the whole house!
 * Are you taking over the house?
 * Yes, you are. Yes, you are.
 * Trust me, one day you're gonna
 * get to know this little guy...
 * and you are gonna love him
 * with all of your heart.
 * Just like we do.
 * All of your heart?
 * Never.
 * Hello!
 * It's time for my three stories,
 * five hugs, and special song!
 * How about one story...
 * three hugs, and my special song?
 * Just my special song?
 * Mom?
 * Dad?
 * Hey.
 * What happened to bedtime?
 * We'll have it on Monday, Mr. Francis.
 * Don't cry! Don't cry.
 * Hello?
 * Hello? No, ma'am, not yet.
 * No, I'm not making excuses.
 * Yes, ma'am,
 * I know I've been here a long time.
 * Believe me, it feels like my whole life.
 * I'm making great progress
 * with the parents already.
 * The usual procedure,
 * sleep deprivation, hunger strikes.
 * They're very disoriented.
 * I've got them
 * eating out of the palm of my hand.
 * They do everything for me.
 * It's hilarious.
 * But I think the kid might be on to me.
 * No, I can handle him.
 * I know how important this mission is
 * to the company.
 * Mission?
 * Well, trust me, ma'am.
 * You got the right baby for this job.
 * Hands up, devil baby!
 * Fart! Poop! Doodie!
 * I've gotta deal with the k-i-d.
 * You can talk!
 * Uh, goo-goo Ga-ga.
 * No, you can really talk. I heard you!
 * Fine. I can talk.
 * Now, let's see if you can listen.
 * Get me a double espresso...
 * and see if there's someplace around here
 * with decent sushi.
 * I'd kill for a spicy tuna roll
 * right about now.
 * Get yourself a little something.
 * Who are you?
 * Let's just say I'm the boss.
 * The boss? You're a baby! You wear a diaper.
 * You know who else wears diapers?
 * Astronauts and NASCAR drivers, that's who.
 * It's called efficiency, Templeton.
 * The average toddler spends, what?
 * 45 hours a year on the potty?
 * I'm the boss.
 * I don't have that kind of spare time.
 * Well, you're not the boss of me.
 * - I am the boss of you.
 * - No, you're not.
 * - Am, too.
 * - Are not.
 * - Am, too!
 * - Are not!
 * - Am, too.
 * - Are not!
 * - Am, too.
 * - Are not!
 * Am, too. Am, too.
 * I was here first.
 * Just wait until Mom and Dad find out
 * about this.
 * Oh, yeah? You think they'd pick you over me?
 * With your track record?
 * You don't know anything about me.
 * So that's how you wanna play it, huh?
 * Let's see.
 * Templeton, Timothy. Middle name....
 * I'm sorry.
 * Leslie!
 * - Mostly C's...
 * - How do you know all that?
 * Can't ride a bike without training wheels?
 * Even bears can ride a bike
 * without training wheels, Leslie.
 * DOB says you're seven.
 * Seven and a half.
 * Power nap! You were saying?
 * I'm seven and a half.
 * Exactly! You're old.
 * It's time to make way
 * for the next generation.
 * It's the way of the world.
 * You would never ask your parents
 * for an old toy.
 * Lam-Lam?
 * Everyone wants the hot, new thing.
 * Destroy. Destroy.
 * - Lam-Lam!
 * - I've got fresh batteries.
 * Boom!
 * Mom and Dad don't even know you.
 * They love me!
 * Oh, yeah? Do the math, kid.
 * There's only so much love to go around.
 * It's like these beads.
 * You used to have all your parents' love.
 * All their time. All their attention.
 * You had all the beads.
 * But then I came along.
 * Babies take up a lot of time.
 * They need a lot of attention.
 * They get all the love.
 * We could share.
 * You obviously didn't go to business school.
 * Look, Templeton,
 * the numbers just don't add up.
 * There's not enough love for the two of us.
 * Not enough beads to go around.
 * And then, all of a sudden,
 * there's no place for Tim.
 * Tim doesn't fit anymore.
 * Oh, no! What about Tim?
 * So keep quiet. Stay out of my way.
 * Or there's gonna be cutbacks.
 * You can't be fired from your own family.
 * Can you?
 * Wake up, little halflings! It's 7:00 a.m.
 * Wake up, little half...
 * What's the use?
 * Arise for a nutritious breakfast!
 * It's 7: 00 a.m.
 * What's wrong, Timothy?
 * Has that little dwarf made you blue?
 * Mm-hmm.
 * Then I shall cast upon him a great curse!
 * He shall not pass!
 * It's no use, Wizzie.
 * He's got Mom and Dad completely fooled.
 * If they knew what I knew,
 * they'd never let him stay.
 * Perhaps your parents need to be enlightened.
 * With a great curse!
 * They shall not pass!
 * Yeah. I need to enlighten them...
 * with proof!
 * That's what I need, proof!
 * Expose his dark magic!
 * Testing, testing.
 * Testing, testing.
 * Maybe they can return him to the store...
 * and get their money back!
 * We could buy a bouncy house!
 * Godspeed, Tim! It's 8:45 a.m.
 * Ninja.
 * Ninja.
 * Ninja.
 * Ninja.
 * Babies everywhere! They're spreading.
 * Mom! Dad! What's going on?
 * It's an invasion!
 * It's a play date!
 * That's a keeper.
 * It's a meeting, and you won't be attending.
 * We'll see about that.
 * Thank you all for coming here
 * on such short notice.
 * Now, before we begin...
 * Yes, sir!
 * - Sure is!
 * - Affirmative!
 * Jimbo, run some interference.
 * Hey!
 * - We babies are having a crisis!
 * - Oh, no!
 * - That's awful!
 * - Horrible!
 * What is it?
 * It's simpler if I just show you.
 * Teddy, if you please.
 * Let's put on a show.
 * Here we go!
 * Jimbo, hit the lights.
 * You see, babies aren't getting
 * as much love as we used to.
 * Why? Have we been bad?
 * No, Staci.
 * But I'll tell you who is.
 * Behold our mortal enemy. Puppies!
 * No! That's exactly the problem.
 * Puppies? What's the deal with puppies?
 * Throughout history...
 * people have loved babies
 * more than anything in the world.
 * We've always been a must-have item...
 * number one on every wish list.
 * Puppies were merely accessories.
 * But all that changed
 * when the puppies began coming out...
 * with new designer models.
 * Each one more adorable than the last.
 * Remember the Labradoodle?
 * The Peekapoo?
 * The Chiweenie?
 * Try to say "Chiweenie" without smiling.
 * Not possible. Don't waste your time.
 * We all laughed at the Shar Pei.
 * And now it's number one in China.
 * - Oh, no.
 * - That's terrible!
 * - Horrible!
 * - Yes.
 * And it gets even worse.
 * Francis Francis, the CEO of Puppy Co,
 * made this announcement.
 * Teddy, roll the clip.
 * And we are on schedule...
 * to release the most adorable puppy ever.
 * We're gonna launch it
 * at the pet convention in Las Vegas!
 * Watch out, world!
 * It's gonna crush the competition!
 * - Yay!
 * - No, Jimbo.
 * No "Yay"! We are the competition!
 * This is war.
 * Puppies are winning, and babies are losing.
 * Thank you, Teddy.
 * And if this new puppy
 * is as cute as we fear...
 * it could put the baby business
 * out of business, baby.
 * That's awful!
 * Bad news, baby!
 * What are we going to do?
 * My job is to find out exactly what
 * that new puppy is...
 * so that Baby Corp can stop it.
 * And you're going to help me.
 * - Genius!
 * - Home run!
 * You still got it, boss!
 * Yay!
 * Yay.
 * Now, your parents all work for Puppy Co.
 * So have you learned anything from them?
 * - Yes, sir!
 * - Sure did!
 * Fantastic. Triplets, go!
 * - A.
 * - B.
 * - C.
 * - D.
 * No, what have you learned
 * about the new puppy?
 * Yay, puppy!
 * No, Jimbo! Puppies are evil.
 * Staci, read back the notes.
 * I can't read. What's it say?
 * This is my team?
 * A muscle-head, a bunch of yes men,
 * and a doodler?
 * - Exactly!
 * - Affirmative!
 * Good call.
 * - Oh, yeah!
 * - Nice one, BB!
 * Gotcha!
 * Put that cookie down.
 * Cookies are for closers.
 * - Let's have another show!
 * - No, Teddy!
 * - How about a hug?
 * - No more shows!
 * Boss?
 * - There's plenty of love to go around.
 * - Go to sleep!
 * Nighty-night.
 * - Boss!
 * - Boss!
 * - What?
 * - Parents!
 * It's like they're having their own
 * little meeting.
 * - Isn't that adorable?
 * - Who wants dessert?
 * God, this is so humiliating.
 * God, this is so humiliating.
 * Wait until Mom and Dad hear this.
 * Hey, Templeton, what you got there?
 * Nothing.
 * Hand over the tape.
 * Never!
 * Mom! Dad! Over here!
 * - Hi, Timmy!
 * - Hi! Anyway...
 * Flower power!
 * You can't get away from Johnny Law,
 * simpleton.
 * Fasten your seat belt. Let's go!
 * Run, run, run.
 * What? Hey!
 * Uh-oh.
 * Run, run, run.
 * Catch, catch, catch.
 * Yes!
 * Oh, yeah!
 * Let go, you little...
 * Oh, look! The kids are finally getting along.
 * That's nice.
 * Sayonara!
 * You wanna play?
 * Let's play.
 * No!
 * Save Boss! Save Boss!
 * - Get him!
 * - I got him!
 * - I got him!
 * - I got him!
 * You're toast, baby man!
 * Upsies, I need upsies!
 * Who wants...
 * Cheese sticks!
 * Mom, Dad! I've got proof!
 * Someone can't go down the stairs?
 * Nothing can stop me!
 * Mom! Dad! Where are you guys?
 * Hello?
 * Where did everyone go?
 * Mom, Dad! The baby can talk!
 * Oh, can he now?
 * Wait, how did you...
 * Hand over the tape, Timmy.
 * Or Lam-Lam gets it, see?
 * No!
 * What's that, Lam-Lam? You want a nose ring?
 * It's really not my scene,
 * but who am I to judge?
 * And an eyebrow ring?
 * Seems like a little too much, Lam-Lam.
 * How's that gonna look in a job interview?
 * Stop it!
 * The tape, Timmy! Or I'm gonna rip, rip, rip.
 * No! Let go!
 * - You let go!
 * - You let go!
 * - Give me the tape!
 * - Give me Lam-Lam!
 * Whoops! Too far.
 * Templeton! Templeton, let's be reasonable.
 * We can be reasonable, right?
 * What are you doing?
 * You've been asking for this
 * since you got here!
 * We can talk about this over a juice box!
 * Time for juice boxes is over.
 * No, Templeton. You wouldn't.
 * Say bye-bye, baby! You're fired!
 * What are you doing?
 * Nothing.
 * My proof!
 * Tim! Explain yourself!
 * Yes, explain yourself.
 * It wasn't me! It was the baby's fault.
 * The baby's fault?
 * It's true! He can talk.
 * They all can talk.
 * They were having a meeting.
 * There's something about puppies.
 * It's one big baby con-spy-racy!
 * Timothy Leslie Templeton!
 * We are very disappointed in you.
 * - No, we're mad at you!
 * - Exactly, we're mad at you.
 * - Mad?
 * - You need a time-out!
 * - You're grounded!
 * - Yes, grounded!
 * - For two...
 * - Three!
 * - Three days?
 * - Weeks!
 * Weeks! Three weeks!
 * For three... evers!
 * Grounded?
 * You're gonna stay in this house
 * with your baby brother...
 * until you learn to get along.
 * Great.
 * It was my first time behind bars.
 * The big house.
 * The lock-up.
 * Grounded for life.
 * The minutes turned into hours,
 * the hours into days.
 * Every man has his breaking point.
 * This was mine.
 * Blackbird singing in the dead of night
 * - Take these broken wings and learn to fly
 * - Hey, that's my song.
 * All your life
 * You were only waiting
 * For this moment to arise
 * It's okay, little halfling.
 * Perhaps I can be of some assistance.
 * Blackbird singing in the dead of night!
 * Pray, take these broken wings
 * and learn to fly!
 * Fly, you fools!
 * Thanks, Wizzie.
 * But it's not the same.
 * If only I could reach my magical shank.
 * I could break us out of this big house.
 * Templeton!
 * Templeton, we have to talk.
 * Go away.
 * Blackbird singing in the dead of night
 * Stop it!
 * That's my song, not yours.
 * My parents wrote it just for me.
 * Really?
 * Your parents are Lennon and McCartney?
 * No, Ted and Janice.
 * You don't even know their names!
 * You're just trying to steal them from me.
 * You stole everything!
 * You're the one who should be in jail!
 * Look, it's time we put our differences aside.
 * Have you been...
 * No!
 * Where's HR when you need them?
 * Take it.
 * I don't want your filthy money.
 * Look, I told you to stay out of my way.
 * I can't! You're in my house.
 * I don't wanna be here...
 * any more than you want me to be here.
 * Then why are you torturing me?
 * The truth is I'm no ordinary baby.
 * Well, no kidding.
 * I'm on a mission from above.
 * Are you the Baby Jesus?
 * Yes. I'm the Baby Jesus.
 * No!
 * You see, I'm more middle management
 * for the company.
 * The company? What company?
 * Here.
 * Take this. It'll explain everything.
 * What do you want me to do with that?
 * - I want you to suck it.
 * - You suck it!
 * No, it's for you to suck.
 * I'm not sucking that!
 * - Suck it.
 * - I don't know where it's been!
 * It's not where it's been.
 * It's where it will take you.
 * Don't you wanna know...
 * where babies really come from?
 * Binky. Papish. Nuk-Nuk.
 * Boo-Boo. Bo-Bo. Bah-Bah.
 * Chupie. Hushie-Baby. Tootsie.
 * It goes by many names.
 * But through its power,
 * you will know the truth.
 * Come on, faster!
 * Mommy!
 * Where are we?
 * Welcome to Baby Corp!
 * No way.
 * - Thank you.
 * - What?
 * Relax. They can't see us or hear us.
 * - We're, like, virtual and stuff?
 * - Yep.
 * - You mean they won't feel this?
 * - Nope.
 * - Or this?
 * - Nada.
 * Karate!
 * Don't embarrass yourself, Templeton.
 * I can still see you.
 * So this is where babies come from?
 * Where'd you think, the cabbage patch?
 * Magic fairies?
 * No, my parents told me that...
 * What?
 * No. That's disgusting.
 * Yeah, it didn't sound right to me, either.
 * I can't believe
 * my parents didn't tell me about this.
 * If people knew where babies really came from,
 * they'd never have one.
 * Same thing with hot dogs, by the way.
 * Going upsies!
 * So how come I don't remember this place?
 * You did.
 * But after normal babies
 * get their pacifiers taken away...
 * you forget all about Baby Corp.
 * How come you're not normal?
 * A few of us, the best of the best...
 * are selected for the...
 * For the ultimate honor.
 * Upper management.
 * This, Templeton, is where all the action is.
 * Nap time in Sector G.
 * So this whole place is run by babies?
 * Yep.
 * My Dad says, "Those who can, do."
 * "And those who can't, supervise."
 * Your father is a hippy.
 * What happens when you grow up?
 * We don't.
 * We drink a super-secret baby formula
 * that keeps us babies forever.
 * Back to work! Formula break is over!
 * We're in a crisis here!
 * Don't you know we're in a crisis here?
 * Who is that?
 * That is my boss. Big Boss Baby.
 * What is she screaming about?
 * Well, see this pie chart?
 * Wow, it looks like a giant pie.
 * It represents all the love there is
 * in the world.
 * - I love pie.
 * - Who doesn't?
 * - Apple.
 * - Fine.
 * - No, cherry!
 * - Perfect!
 * - Not pumpkin.
 * - Okay.
 * That's a vegetable.
 * Point is, the puppies' slice
 * is getting bigger and bigger.
 * They're stealing all our love!
 * Just like you did to me.
 * Exactly.
 * And if this keeps up...
 * there might not be enough pie left
 * for babies.
 * No pie?
 * No pie.
 * So, my mission is to find out
 * what this new puppy is.
 * So you're, like, on a spy mission? Cool!
 * Yes! Cool! And if... When I succeed...
 * I'll become a Baby Corp legend.
 * Like Super Big Boss Baby, Mega Boss Baby...
 * Seriously Big Boss Baby...
 * and him.
 * Now that's a big, fat baby.
 * No, that's Big Fat Boss Baby.
 * This is Super Colossal Big Fat Boss Baby.
 * He was the youngest Chief Executive Infant
 * in the history of the company.
 * Was? What happened to him?
 * Retired, years ago.
 * But I still try and live up to his legend.
 * In every situation, I ask myself...
 * "W-W-S-C-B-F-B-B-D?
 * "What Would Super Colossal
 * Big Fat Boss Baby Do?"
 * So that's all you get?
 * Your picture on the wall?
 * Come here!
 * I'll get a promotion.
 * The corner office...
 * with my own private potty.
 * Wow.
 * So when you're done, you're coming back here?
 * A-S-A-P, T-i-m.
 * I'm not a family man. I belong behind a desk.
 * - That's awesome!
 * - I know, right?
 * - Pew pew.
 * - What?
 * So help me,
 * I will nail his diaper to the wall!
 * Have we heard anything
 * from that little Boss Baby...
 * that we sent down to the Templetons?
 * - I don't know.
 * - You're fired!
 * Oh, no.
 * You're all fired!
 * The pet convention is in two days.
 * If he doesn't come up with answers...
 * he is fired, retired!
 * - Gone!
 * - Tour's over.
 * What was Big Bossy Baby Lady screaming about?
 * She's demanding actual results.
 * The pet convention is in two days,
 * and I've got nothing!
 * That's her! Don't answer it!
 * Stress nap!
 * If I don't find out
 * what that new puppy is and fast...
 * not only will I not get that promotion...
 * I could get fired!
 * Hey, relax.
 * I'm sure there's other cool jobs
 * for babies, right?
 * Meanwhile, two days goes by like that.
 * You better start packing.
 * What?
 * You don't get it, Templeton.
 * If I'm fired, they'll take away my formula.
 * I will turn into a normal baby...
 * and live here forever with you.
 * - No!
 * - Yes!
 * And I promise you this...
 * Every morning you wake up...
 * I'll be there.
 * Every night, at dinner...
 * I'll be there.
 * Every birthday party...
 * I'll be there.
 * Every Christmas!
 * I'll be there
 * Year after year after year.
 * We will grow old together.
 * You and I...
 * will be brothers.
 * Always.
 * - No. No, this is terrible!
 * - I know.
 * - This can't be happening.
 * - But it is!
 * - You can't stay here!
 * - I can't!
 * - Don't panic!
 * - But it feels right!
 * I know, but we have to fix this.
 * We have to make sure you don't get fired.
 * We?
 * We.
 * I will help you...
 * but just to get rid of you.
 * Deal?
 * Deal.
 * Here's to never seeing you again.
 * Back at ya, baby.
 * Now let's get to work.
 * Come on, come on, come on.
 * Slice!
 * No, no.
 * There's nothing here about a new puppy.
 * Aren't you gonna do any work?
 * I'm very busy delegating.
 * He drains it!
 * So once we find the file on the new puppy...
 * what do we do then?
 * Send in the baby ninjas?
 * Even better.
 * I'm going to write the perfect memo.
 * - Boom!
 * - Boom!
 * Wait. What's a memo?
 * A memo is something you write
 * to give people information.
 * That's your plan?
 * You're gonna write a book report?
 * That's so boring.
 * No, Templeton.
 * Memos are for important things.
 * A memo can bring people together.
 * A memo can be a call to arms...
 * a manifesto, a poem.
 * A memo can change the world.
 * Wow! When you explain it like that...
 * it still sounds boring.
 * You'll learn, kid.
 * You'll learn.
 * Wait a second. This is it!
 * What? What is it?
 * Check this out. Take Your Kid to Work Day.
 * People take children
 * to a place of business? Why?
 * Because it's awesome!
 * It's disgusting.
 * Don't you see? We can get inside Puppy Co...
 * and find out what the new puppy is!
 * What's the point?
 * You're grounded.
 * Your parents aren't
 * going to take us anywhere.
 * You're right. They think we hate each other.
 * Hate is a strong word.
 * It's the right word, but still.
 * We have to convince them
 * that we're actual brothers.
 * Right.
 * That we...
 * Loathe?
 * No.
 * Like!
 * No. That we...
 * La, la, la...
 * Le, Le, Le...
 * No.
 * No way. No. You don't mean...
 * Love each other.
 * I just threw up a noodle and swallowed it.
 * - Here comes the choo-choo train!
 * - No.
 * - Choo, choo, chugga, chugga.
 * - No choo-choo!
 * Hold the train! No!
 * It looks like it's already been eaten!
 * Who's there? I got a racket!
 * What's going on in here?
 * I'm just feeding the baby.
 * They're watching.
 * Choo-choo.
 * Okay.
 * Choo-choo on that.
 * I don't wear nautical. It's not even Friday!
 * Come on, you're putting this thing on!
 * You gonna make me? You can't make me, punk.
 * - What have you done to me?
 * - Stop!
 * - Get back here!
 * - No!
 * No way.
 * Come on!
 * Tim, what are you doing in here?
 * Oh, no.
 * Hey, what's all the racket?
 * Isn't he adorable?
 * I've got one for you, too! Ahoy, matey!
 * What?
 * Bummer.
 * Smile!
 * Smile for the camera.
 * It makes me feel weak.
 * - Who's ticklish?
 * - It doesn't work on me.
 * - Here?
 * - I'm dead down there.
 * Come on, everyone has a tickle spot.
 * "'I don't think I'll fit,' said Gretel."
 * Come here, look at this.
 * "'I could get in myself.'
 * "And then, Hansel and Gretel...
 * "pushed the wicked old woman into the oven.
 * "And the godless witch
 * was miserably burnt to death."
 * Let me get this straight.
 * The story is about cannibalism
 * and burning people alive.
 * Yeah.
 * No wonder kids are so messed up!
 * Getting along is exhausting.
 * Back at ya, Tim.
 * You should have seen your face
 * in that picture.
 * You were all...
 * I'm not used to being tickled.
 * Once at a corporate retreat.
 * But those things always get weird.
 * What? You've never been tickled?
 * What about your parents?
 * I'm sorry. I forgot.
 * You didn't have parents, did you?
 * Tim, I may look like a baby...
 * but I was born all grown up.
 * I can't even imagine not being a kid.
 * You missed out on your whole childhood?
 * You never had someone to love you?
 * You can't miss what you never had.
 * Wake up, little halflings!
 * Hey, Tim. Wake up, buddy.
 * - What?
 * - Rise and shine!
 * Is something wrong? Am I fired?
 * No, you're late for work.
 * What?
 * It's Take Your Kid to Work Day!
 * And you're the kid.
 * You're officially un-grounded.
 * - Really?
 * - Really.
 * Can the baby come, too?
 * I don't see why not.
 * Yes! Yes, yes, yes!
 * Yeah!
 * I wish I was that excited for work.
 * Look, it's my spatula.
 * Yeah, baby.
 * All right, gentlemen. Welcome to Puppy Co.
 * Wow! This is awesome!
 * And Tim, look!
 * They have a puppy pool and everything!
 * Isn't that sanitary?
 * Hey, bud, you wanna get a picture
 * with Puppy Co Pete?
 * No, thanks.
 * It's probably too scary for the baby.
 * Nice call.
 * Your dad and I have some work to do.
 * You wanna come up to the office
 * and hang out with us?
 * We'll stick your brother in the Puppy Zone...
 * while we have a little Tim time.
 * Tim time?
 * Dad and I know we haven't been able
 * to do as much with you as we used to.
 * So, what do you say?
 * No, thanks.
 * I'd rather spend time with the baby.
 * - So cute.
 * - That's so sweet.
 * Way to keep your eyes on the prize,
 * Templeton.
 * We find out what the new puppy is,
 * and I go home.
 * You guys stay in the Puppy Zone, okay?
 * Okay, bye!
 * That's where we'll find
 * the secret file on the new puppy.
 * We'll never get through that door.
 * No, not that door.
 * The doggy door.
 * But how do we get past the guard?
 * No, no, no. No way.
 * No!
 * Itchy, plushy, puppy pants!
 * What a cute, little pup...
 * Ow!
 * Yay!
 * Kids.
 * Get down.
 * All the way down.
 * I've never been so humiliated in all my life.
 * Arf!
 * Hey!
 * Fetch!
 * What am I doing?
 * Oh, no!
 * Yes!
 * What a good boy.
 * No. No biting.
 * Timothy Templeton, office ninja.
 * - Over here.
 * - What is it?
 * It's gotta be in here.
 * It's begging us to go in.
 * Wow.
 * That's a lot of paperwork.
 * I thought puppies shredded everything.
 * This is getting creepy.
 * I've come for your soul.
 * Cut it out!
 * Wait!
 * That's it!
 * The file!
 * See! I was right.
 * No. I've seen this before somewhere.
 * We've gotta find something
 * to replace it with.
 * You're right. Like another file.
 * Yes! A file with the same weight.
 * So it can be placed
 * in the exact same position.
 * - With the exact same weight.
 * - You already said that.
 * I know I said it. Hey, you hit me twice.
 * Make it a third time. Wait!
 * I think I've seen one here.
 * Smead manila, pressboard edges.
 * About 50 ounces. No, 49.
 * Try this one.
 * Wait!
 * Now it's perfect.
 * Yes!
 * I feel like we should run.
 * I know, but it's just so mesmerizing.
 * I kind of wanna see how it ends.
 * Yeah, me too.
 * Well, that didn't end well.
 * What?
 * What the...?
 * Thanks for dropping in, kids.
 * Francis Francis?
 * I see you've met my big brother, Eugene.
 * A man of few words.
 * None, in fact.
 * Can you put your head back on, please?
 * What is all this?
 * Surprise!
 * A Baby Corp binky? Where did you get that?
 * You don't recognize me?
 * Perhaps from my youth!
 * Super Colossal Big Fat Boss Baby?
 * He is him? And him is you?
 * Except older and wrinklier.
 * That's not right.
 * No. You were my hero!
 * How did you end up here?
 * You know what I do to little kids
 * who ask lots of questions about me?
 * Eugene!
 * I read them my story.
 * And, I baked cookies!
 * Eugene, my chair.
 * Now, it all started at Baby Corp...
 * a long, long time ago.
 * I was a hotshot executive...
 * headed straight to the top.
 * Everyone loved me.
 * They gave me a promotion,
 * the corner office...
 * my very own...
 * Personal potty?
 * I had it all.
 * But then one day...
 * I made a terrible discovery.
 * I was getting old.
 * The formula wasn't working anymore.
 * It turns out I was lactose intolerant.
 * - No!
 * - Yes!
 * I got called in
 * to see the board of directors.
 * Who are the boring directors?
 * The biggest baby bosses of them all.
 * I thought they loved me.
 * But they replaced me with someone new.
 * Someone younger.
 * That's horrible.
 * All of a sudden, she got all the love...
 * all the attention.
 * You know how that feels, don't you, Tim?
 * It hurts, doesn't it?
 * Yeah. It does.
 * And then what happened?
 * Well...
 * They fired me!
 * And took away my special formula.
 * Then they sent me down to live with a...
 * - family!
 * - Oh, Francis, no!
 * Baby Corp betrayed me!
 * And I'm finally going to get revenge...
 * with the Forever Puppy.
 * - Huh?
 * - That's it?
 * No, no.
 * Imagine a puppy that never grows up.
 * A puppy that stays a puppy forever.
 * Once I launch my Forever Puppies
 * to every corner of the world...
 * they'll be so adorable...
 * How cute!
 * ...no one will ever want a baby
 * ever, ever again.
 * The end of Baby Corp!
 * Please.
 * A puppy that never grows up?
 * That's impossible!
 * Isn't it?
 * It was, until you brought me
 * the key ingredient.
 * My secret formula.
 * It's mine! It's mine!
 * It's all mine.
 * No!
 * You brought me the very thing I needed
 * to destroy Baby Corp.
 * - No!
 * - Yes!
 * You walked right into my trap!
 * - You'll never get away with this!
 * - Yeah, not if we...
 * What? Tell?
 * Who are you gonna tell, Tim? Your parents?
 * Where are the boys?
 * I told them to stay in the Puppy Zone.
 * I'm taking them both with me to Las Vegas.
 * So stay out of my way.
 * I'd hate for them to get terminated.
 * They'd never leave us alone.
 * Oh, really?
 * Wait until they meet Puppy Co's certified...
 * in-house childcare expert.
 * Oh, no.
 * - Don't be nervous, buddy.
 * - It's only overnight.
 * We'll be back before you know it.
 * Besides, you boys are in great hands.
 * That's right!
 * Eugenia is practically perfect in every way.
 * No.
 * Please don't go with him.
 * Francis Francis is trying to...
 * Believe me...
 * Eugenia won't take her eyes
 * off your children.
 * Not for one second.
 * That's very reassuring.
 * Now you see them.
 * And now, you don't.
 * Too-da-loo!
 * To the airport!
 * It's over. I'm through.
 * What do we do, Templeton?
 * What do we do?
 * We have to get to the airport
 * and stop Francis Francis...
 * before the plane takes off!
 * Yes! But how do we get past
 * Scary Poppins down there?
 * Okay. There must be something we can do.
 * Hey, it's not that bad.
 * Are you okay?
 * What's the matter with you?
 * Don't look at me!
 * Oh, no!
 * Without that formula,
 * I turn into a normal baby.
 * You know, goo-goo, Ga-ga. The whole bit!
 * Oh, no!
 * Gross!
 * I'm a ticking baby time bomb!
 * I'm going to turn into a puking,
 * pooping, helpless baby!
 * Wait a second. That gives me an idea.
 * What? What is it?
 * I've been through a lot of babysitters...
 * and they all fear one thing.
 * Now, ladies,
 * the secret to deep fried butter...
 * is a healthy dab of margarine.
 * Hey, Mr. Lady Man!
 * The baby. I think he's sick!
 * You gotta do something!
 * Oh, the horror!
 * - Templeton!
 * - Delicious!
 * Gross! It got in your mouth!
 * It got in my mouth, too!
 * I think I'm gonna be sick!
 * Swirly!
 * There's only an hour
 * before the plane takes off.
 * Let's take the bike.
 * The bike?
 * I don't know.
 * Let's move!
 * - Okay, but wait right here!
 * - What?
 * Where are you going? Templeton!
 * Always wear a helmet.
 * Too-da-loo, toilet head!
 * You'll never catch us!
 * Staci!
 * Staci, come in!
 * Oh, Staci!
 * - Is that you, boss?
 * - Code red!
 * I'm being chased by a killer babysitter!
 * Gather the team!
 * On it, boss.
 * - Hello!
 * - Hello!
 * - Hello!
 * - Code red.
 * Got it!
 * We got a code red. Repeat...
 * We got a code red!
 * What are you doing, Templeton? Go, go!
 * But that's jaywalking!
 * Here, I'll pay your ticket.
 * Go!
 * I think we lost him!
 * Oh, no, we didn't!
 * Flower power!
 * Pow, pow, pow!
 * That's my boy!
 * Poppy!
 * Run, run, run.
 * Uh-oh.
 * Run, run, run.
 * Tim, you've gotta go faster!
 * I can't do it!
 * You can.
 * You've got it in you, Templeton.
 * Now, eyes ahead.
 * I said eyes ahead, son!
 * Buttocks up! Now pedal like you mean it!
 * Either you run the day, or the day runs you.
 * Good!
 * Uh-oh!
 * My training wheels!
 * I can't ride without training wheels!
 * Whether you think you can
 * or you think you can't, you're right!
 * What are you talking about?
 * The path to success
 * is not a straight line, Templeton...
 * but rather a wild ride...
 * like a ship at sea.
 * And you're a sea captain...
 * taming a turbulent ocean!
 * I'm a sea captain, taming the ocean!
 * Good!
 * Tree! I'm gonna hit it!
 * Aim for failure, and you'll always succeed.
 * - What?
 * - Aim away from failure!
 * I'm doing it. I'm doing it!
 * Once success is a habit...
 * then it's all downhill.
 * Look!
 * There they are! Mom, Dad!
 * - Train!
 * - Choo-choo!
 * Stop!
 * What are you doing?
 * - We're gonna make it.
 * - But I don't have a quote for this!
 * You did it!
 * No! We did it.
 * And all without your training wheels.
 * Coming through!
 * Baby on board!
 * Hang on to your diaper!
 * Duck and cover!
 * Hold it, buddy!
 * I'm gonna need a strip search on two.
 * There they are! Mom, Dad!
 * Hey, not so fast!
 * Oh, no.
 * Templeton!
 * - Hey!
 * - Sorry!
 * Hey, where'd you go?
 * Oh, no!
 * Not again!
 * Not now!
 * What the...?
 * No, no, no!
 * Come on!
 * I think I ate $1.75.
 * Excuse me, coming through! Mom, Dad!
 * Hurry now! Move!
 * We don't wanna miss our flight!
 * - No!
 * - I warned you!
 * Wait!
 * - No!
 * - No.
 * Mom, Dad! Stop!
 * No!
 * No, no, no.
 * They're gone.
 * I failed.
 * I would've gotten to my parents
 * if I didn't have to go back for you!
 * What? We would have been here
 * in plenty of time...
 * if you knew how to ride a bike
 * like a normal kid!
 * We're never going to stop the launch on time.
 * Who cares? My parents are in danger.
 * I care! Baby Corp is going to go
 * out of business.
 * That's all you ever talk about.
 * You don't even know what it's like
 * to be part of a family.
 * And you don't know what it's like
 * to have a job!
 * You don't know anything about hugs,
 * or bedtime stories, or special songs!
 * Oh, please! Stop acting like a baby.
 * You're a baby!
 * You take that back.
 * My life was perfect until you showed up!
 * Believe me, kid, the feeling is mutual.
 * I wish I'd never met you!
 * I wish you'd never been born!
 * Where are you going?
 * Fine!
 * Blackbird singing in the dead of night
 * Take these broken wings and learn to fly
 * All your life
 * You were only waiting
 * For this moment to arise
 * Would Timothy Templeton please pick up
 * the white courtesy phone?
 * Timothy Leslie Templeton,
 * please pick up the white courtesy phone.
 * Leslie.
 * Hello?
 * It's me. Don't hang up, Tim!
 * Tim, I wasn't born. I was hired.
 * What do you mean?
 * Baby Corp is the only home I've ever known.
 * So you're right.
 * I don't know what it's like...
 * to be part of a family.
 * But I do care.
 * You do?
 * Yeah.
 * And the only way to save both
 * is to stop Francis Francis.
 * Yeah.
 * I can't do this without you, Tim.
 * I need you.
 * - I guess we do make a pretty good team.
 * - No.
 * Literally, I can't reach the door knobs.
 * Oh, right.
 * Don't worry, Tim.
 * We're gonna save your parents.
 * And your company.
 * But how do we get to Vegas now?
 * We're gonna need a miracle.
 * Follow that Elvis!
 * Why?
 * Where there's Elvis, there's Vegas!
 * There's another one!
 * And another one!
 * Elvises everywhere!
 * Tim, there's our flight!
 * And there goes our ticket!
 * Hey! Don't be cruel!
 * Sorry!
 * - Well, thank you!
 * - Oh, baby!
 * Well, thank you very much.
 * Hello.
 * Hi.
 * Ticket please.
 * One moment.
 * It's been stolen!
 * Impersonating an Elvis impersonator?
 * Get him!
 * Humina, humina, humina.
 * Stop!
 * The ghost of Elvis!
 * We gotta find seats!
 * Come on, this way!
 * What is this place?
 * This, Templeton, is first class.
 * Why is it empty?
 * No one can afford it.
 * That's what makes it so wonderful.
 * Hello! This is Captain Ross.
 * Ladies and gentlemen, and those in coach...
 * please fasten your seat belts.
 * We're about to take off.
 * What's the matter, Templeton?
 * My parents always hold my hand
 * during takeoff.
 * Boy, the stocks are crazy today.
 * Ladies and gentlemen, Captain Ross again.
 * As you can see,
 * I've switched off the seat belt sign.
 * What are you two boys doing up here?
 * We're Captain Ross's kids.
 * He told us to sit here.
 * Well, can I get you special guys anything?
 * Anything?
 * Anything.
 * Aye! All right, Francis Francis.
 * This will teach you
 * to kidnap the parents of One-Eyed Tim.
 * Oh, please. If only it were that easy.
 * What's your plan?
 * You're not gonna write a memo, are you?
 * No.
 * Come on. You said you never really
 * had a childhood, right?
 * Why don't you give it a try?
 * - No, I can't.
 * - It's fun!
 * Here, let's get you into character.
 * I don't know. I feel silly!
 * Go on! Say something mean to him.
 * All right, all right, all right.
 * So, you went to a community college, is it?
 * I don't know.
 * Keep going!
 * And you have the guts
 * to ask me for a bonus, now?
 * See!
 * Now you're getting into it.
 * Huh?
 * Well, blow me down.
 * Your exit interview is over!
 * That was pretty good.
 * Who was that guy anyway?
 * - The captain!
 * - What?
 * En garde!
 * Heave!
 * Ho!
 * Thar she blows!
 * Watch your stern!
 * - Aye!
 * - Dodge, parry, and thrust!
 * Sounds like a heck of a law firm!
 * Nice try! Heads up!
 * You're fired!
 * And here's your severance package. Ha!
 * Wait. You're not supposed to end with "Ha!"
 * You're not?
 * You're supposed to end with "Argh!"
 * Got it! Argh!
 * That's great!
 * Thanks! I just went with the flow.
 * Ladies and gentlemen, and those in coach...
 * on the left side of the plane...
 * you can see we're approaching
 * fabulous Las Vegas.
 * Land ho!
 * Ahoy, matey.
 * Bye, Dad! Thanks for the lift!
 * - Okay. What?
 * - Let's move.
 * - Going to the Heartbreak Hotel?
 * - I'm going to the Heartbreak Hotel.
 * - Me, too!
 * - Me, too!
 * Me, too!
 * We've gotta get to the convention center.
 * Should we get a taxi?
 * Darn! I spent all my per Diem.
 * That's more our speed.
 * Right.
 * Excuse me, ladies.
 * Can we get a ride home?
 * Jimmy's been sick,
 * and he needs his expensive medicine.
 * Where do you live, sweetie?
 * The convention center.
 * Bye, sweetie!
 * Have a fun lady party!
 * Chicks dig babies.
 * The people of Long Island do not know
 * how to make an iced tea.
 * Oh, no! How are we gonna find my parents
 * in here?
 * Tim!
 * Over there.
 * Okay, now where's Puppy Co?
 * Puppy Co, Puppy Co, Puppy Co...
 * Aha! Here it is. Found it!
 * But how did you...?
 * Hey! Where'd you go?
 * Not again!
 * Come on! I need you!
 * I'm back! I'm back.
 * What's going on?
 * That's right.
 * We're gonna launch a brand new puppy
 * in every continent.
 * In every country!
 * We're going to take over the world,
 * one heart at a time.
 * - Tim, there they are!
 * - Mom, Dad!
 * Imagine a puppy that never grows up...
 * never gets old.
 * A puppy that stays a puppy forever.
 * I give you the only thing you'll ever love...
 * the Forever Puppy!
 * Mommy?
 * Avert your eyes, Templeton!
 * Hey! What are you doing here?
 * Mom, Dad!
 * What are they doing here?
 * What are Tim and the baby doing here?
 * What are any of us doing here, really?
 * What is going on here?
 * He's got my parents!
 * We're really here to get them.
 * Get them!
 * Get the Forever Puppy!
 * We've got to get backstage.
 * In there!
 * Run!
 * Go, go, go!
 * Left, right! Left, right! Left, right!
 * Yes!
 * Fart. Poop. Doodie.
 * Look at all that formula.
 * Now that's how you launch a product.
 * Oh, no!
 * He's putting them under the rocket!
 * Elvis has left the building!
 * Mom, Dad...
 * I'm coming!
 * Atta boy! Go, Tim! Go, go!
 * Launch initiated.
 * I'm launching my Forever Puppies,
 * and there's nothing you can do about it!
 * No!
 * Baby Corp stole all the love from me...
 * and now I'm going to take it back from them.
 * You should understand what I'm talking about.
 * You got replaced just like me!
 * No! I'm nothing like you!
 * Bratty kid!
 * Let our parents go! His parents. The parents.
 * Yeah!
 * You could have had your parents' love
 * all to yourself again!
 * But no!
 * You blew it!
 * You let that baby boss you around.
 * He doesn't work for me.
 * We're partners!
 * I'm not ticklish.
 * Hey! Where's the baby?
 * Everyone has a tickle spot!
 * My ears!
 * Stop it!
 * Little brats!
 * Nothing is going to get in the way
 * of my vengeance.
 * Not you, not anybody!
 * Baby Corp is through.
 * I win! Ha!
 * Wrong!
 * You're not supposed to end with "Ha!"
 * - That's right!
 * - What?
 * You're supposed to end with...
 * Argh!
 * En garde!
 * You're fired!
 * And here's your severance package!
 * Take that, you scurvy scallywag!
 * Argh!
 * One minute and counting.
 * - Help!
 * - Anybody!
 * Tim! What are you doing?
 * No!
 * Mom, Dad, I'm coming!
 * Is that you?
 * Don't worry, Mom and Dad. I got this!
 * - Are you okay?
 * - Is the baby all right?
 * Yes, the baby's fine.
 * Who was that?
 * That was me!
 * The baby's fine.
 * It won't budge!
 * What's happening?
 * Wait a second!
 * Hey.
 * I know a way to move my parents.
 * - How?
 * - We can use the puppies!
 * Upsies.
 * I need upsies.
 * But what if you "go baby" again?
 * It'll be fine. Fine, fine.
 * Fine!
 * It'll be fine.
 * Hang on to your diaper!
 * We're moving!
 * Why are we moving?
 * All right, Mom and Dad, hang on!
 * T-minus 30 seconds.
 * Oh, no! Wait!
 * Hold on!
 * Go, Tim! Get your parents...
 * out of here.
 * You've gotta jump!
 * Come on, it's a piece of cake!
 * No! No patty cake! Get down!
 * Don't cry. I'm sorry. Please don't cry!
 * 20 seconds.
 * 15 seconds.
 * Blackbird singing in the dead of night
 * Take these broken wings and learn to fly
 * All your life
 * You were only waiting
 * For this moment to arise
 * - Three...
 * - Gotcha!
 * ...two, one.
 * Blast off!
 * Yeah!
 * Hey, are you still in there?
 * Aha!
 * What happened? Did we win?
 * - We won!
 * - We won?
 * - We won, we won, we won!
 * - We won! Yes!
 * Victory nap!
 * You ruined everything!
 * It's not fair! It's not fair!
 * That's not right.
 * Now you're really going to pay!
 * Oh, yeah? It's time you pick on someone
 * your own size!
 * What?
 * Eugene! You put me down!
 * You hear me? I am the boss of you!
 * This time, we'll raise him right.
 * I'm sure that's gonna turn out fine.
 * Tim, what's happening?
 * Mom, Dad, hold on!
 * Yes!
 * - Tim?
 * - Tim!
 * Tim! Are you okay?
 * I'm fine. We're fine.
 * You saved us.
 * You're our hero.
 * And a great big brother.
 * We love you both so much.
 * Both of us?
 * With all our heart.
 * Let's go home.
 * How do I look?
 * You look great.
 * Well, team, good job.
 * Staci, this letter should get you
 * into the school of your choice.
 * - Kindergarten?
 * - That's right.
 * And if there's anything else...
 * How about a raise?
 * Staci, you don't get paid.
 * - One million ziggity-five!
 * - Eight!
 * - A tricycle!
 * - Skates!
 * - Candy corn?
 * - Lollipop!
 * Deal.
 * Best boss ever.
 * And you guys don't always have to
 * toe the company line, you know?
 * It's okay to think for yourself.
 * - No, sir!
 * - No way!
 * That's a terrible idea!
 * That's the attitude.
 * - You're so right!
 * - You've got it, sir!
 * - You're the man!
 * - Absolutely!
 * Here you go, big guy.
 * You've earned it.
 * You wanna hug me, don't you?
 * I'll miss you too, buddy. Okay.
 * - There, there.
 * - It'll be okay, big guy.
 * So...
 * you did it.
 * No. We did it.
 * By the way,
 * congratulations on your promotion.
 * The corner office, the private potty.
 * All that stuff.
 * But, hey! How about you?
 * You have your parents all to yourself.
 * So what am I gonna tell Mom and Dad
 * after you leave?
 * Don't worry.
 * Baby Corp has a procedure
 * for situations like this.
 * It'll be like I was never born.
 * I almost forgot!
 * No way! Lam-Lam!
 * - You fixed her.
 * - Yep.
 * She's as good as new. She's a tough one.
 * Well, I guess we both got what we wanted.
 * It's a win-win.
 * Probably should...
 * Yeah.
 * So, stay in school.
 * I don't really have a choice.
 * Yeah, right.
 * - Goodbye, Tim.
 * - Bye.
 * Yeah, right.
 * He left as suddenly as he arrived.
 * Bye.
 * Finally, my life was perfect again.
 * Forget about the baby.
 * Oopsies!
 * Pardon me, big fella.
 * Surprise!
 * Hooray!
 * Forget about the baby?
 * No, thanks. I'm good.
 * Okie-dokie.
 * Argh.
 * Dear Boss Baby...
 * I don't usually write very much...
 * but now I know
 * that memos are very important things.
 * Even though I never went
 * to business school...
 * I did learn to share in kindergarten.
 * And if there isn't enough love
 * for the two of us...
 * then I wanna give you all of mine.
 * I would like to offer you a job.
 * It will be hard work...
 * and there will be no pay.
 * But the good news is that
 * you can never be fired.
 * And I promise you this.
 * Every morning when you wake up,
 * I will be there.
 * Every night at dinner, I will be there.
 * Every birthday party,
 * every Christmas morning...
 * I will be there.
 * Year after year after year.
 * We will grow old together.
 * And you and I will always...
 * ...be brothers.
 * Always.
 * Wake up, little halflings! It's 7:00 a.m.
 * What's the point, Wizzie?
 * Because it's 7: 00 a.m.
 * I have one job to do,
 * and you make it so difficult.
 * It's okay, little halfling.
 * Sometimes, I get confused too.
 * Especially during daylight savings time.
 * Spring forward, fall back.
 * We don't even have calendars
 * in the wizard's realm!
 * There is no spring, only darkness and winter!
 * I'm not confused at all, Wizzie.
 * I just miss him.
 * Tim, look who's here!
 * It's your new baby...
 * Brother!
 * You're here! You're really here!
 * Gentle, gentle.
 * You came back!
 * Say hello to Theodore Lindsey Templeton.
 * Lindsey?
 * Who's ticklish? Who's ticklish?
 * Here you go.
 * So, that's my story.
 * Our story.
 * Luckily for me and my little brother,
 * it had a happy ending.
 * Is that a true story, Daddy?
 * Well, sweetie, that's how I remember it.
 * - But you know what I found out?
 * - What?
 * There's plenty of love for everyone.
 * Even me?
 * Especially you.
 * Just ask your Uncle Ted.
 * Hey, kid, I hear you're gonna have
 * a baby sister.
 * I wanted a horse.
 * Here you go, kid. Go get yourself a horse.
 * You know, I'm proud of you, Leslie.
 * Back at ya, Lindsey.
 * Hi there, baby sister.
 * Argh!
 * All right, guys.
 * Time for bed.
 * Come on, Mom. Just a little longer.
 * Okay.
 * Wake up, little halflings!
 * It's time to leave.
 * Go and live your peasant lives.
 * Be gone with you!

THE END